Love

This week I meditated on the concept of love and my intrapersonal relationships came up in the meditation. I compared how the bible describes love and my love and my friend’s love in the relationship we have.

The concept of love in society is most depicted as a feeling and can often be depicted as conditional in the media. I tried to understand how there seems to be an imbalance between how we love and the way we are supposed to love. As I thought about it the more and about experiences with people I have had the more I find something is missing. What’s missing is that the majority don’t know what love actually is. They don’t see how love is choice and it should be unconditional. Love cannot be earned nor is it having your friends agree with you all the time. In the very essence of Love, love and truth coexist. Truth and love must co-exist because without a friend pointing out your problems you could never grow into a better person. A friend says these things and still loves you despite your decisions and your flaws. In the other side, you could take your friends truthful honest word as pointing out your flaws and not realizing that they love you despite them and taking great offense. Love is not conditional, it’s meant to be unconditional. Therefore, it should not matter what you go through or what mistake you made because love bears all things. “Bearing all things” is a choice someone makes. Therefore, you can choose to love someone enough to bear the terrible times. I think there is clear lack of understanding of this among people.

Perhaps, this perceived notion of love being a choice is what makes a person care too much about others. Perhaps, this is why there is unbalance between relationships and their level, because one chooses to love despite the mistakes and the troubles. Perhaps this why marriages fail because they both have to consider love a choice and something followed by action. Love has to have action as well, because actions prove the words someone spoke are true. From love actions flow from it, if the actions aren’t there then it isn’t love. Love is a verb, and actions communicate love. Actions are a key element to love, you can not have love if there are no actions.

I want to and re-focus again on the aspect of truth and love co-existing. To turly know someone you have to be real with them. In my eyes, it is not love to drag someone around especially if you don’t want to maintain the relationship with them. To me, it’s more in the sense of love to just be direct with them and get it over with and not dragging them through the mud. Therefore, communication has to be truthful. I think you guys are understanding what I am saying on thsi topic.

I also want to mention, I don’t want to limit love to just one area becasue you can love a total stranger. Love is doing what’s best for the person. Love is also where you put someone’s best interest before your onwn. There are so many aspects to love, but only some are more focused on in the secular world than the other facets to it.

In essence, Love is a concept that has been distorted by society and it also seems like only few actually achieve the level of love that we are suppose to. The more I think about it the more, I find that love is something everyone can improve on. It is a skill that I don’t think can stop growing. It was a really eye opening experience and helped me better understand love and how it doesn’t give up. It’s like God spoke to me about even if people don’t love like I do, I am doing the right thing by the way I love others. That’s not to say I am perfect at loving becasue i defiantely have areas i need to improve on, but that it’s a good thing i care so much about others.

Advertisements

Games of Being Fake

The world we live in seems so busy nowadays. It seems like we are always doing something, going somewhere, doing this assignment or that assignment. There are these priorities we have in our life and that usually dictates what we do and what we are too busy for. One thing I never want to be too busy for is my friends. I don’t ever want to be too busy where I can’t be there for one of my friends. If I have to lose sleep to be there for a friend when I should have been doing homework during that time then that’s fine.

The thing is I don’t think anyone is ever really too busy for someone. It’s all about priorities. If a friend continually tells you they are too busy or continually gives that excuse for why they didn’t get back to you when needed them, then I can tell you that person does not see you as priority in their life. In the end, it comes down to that they don’t really value you, and in some instances, they may be basically avoiding you. It could be their way of saying you aren’t worth my time.

No one should ever be too busy for people they care about. I never want to be that person. I want to be there for my friends even if I have to lose sleep or rearrange my schedule. I’m beginning to see that the phrase “I’m really busy” is a cop out. Sometimes it may be a legit excuse, but if it’s used often than that person is just showing you that your problems and you are not in her priorities. In fact, that could be their nice way of trying to distance you from them.

That leads me to another topic, what’s been bugging me for a long while is how people are not straight up with each other. I mean if you don’t want to be friends anymore because of a fight we got into, then say that. People don’t realize that being straight up is more mature than just avoiding someone or giving them the cold shoulder. Communication is key in all relationships. Therefore, in friendship there has to be communication as well. Honestly, just be real with the person if you don’t want to be friends. However, I say that as in be real but be nice. No yelling or screaming that you don’t want to be friends. It’s more mature to communicate and not play a game, than to drag people around because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. However, this may seem like kind gesture it only drags the person on and puts them through more pain then just being mature and communicating. It especially puts them through more pain if that person is trying to reconcile the friendship. This also applies to flirting and couple relationships as well. I don’t understand why we aren’t just direct with each other and communicate instead of playing a stupid game of being fake.

That conculdes my rambling thoughts.